Values are the cornerstone of the way we live our lives. When we live life according to our values, it feels good and we feel fulfilled. When our values are being pushed aside or stepped on, things start to go wrong; we experience stress, frustration and anger, and it may even lead to conflict with others, when values overlap.
As an example, let’s say that two of your values are creativity and freedom. You are working long hours in a process-driven environment where creativity is unimportant and given no priority. This is highly likely to be causing you internal conflict, stress and unhappiness. Now, you’ve been offered a promotion that may give you more creative challenge and the opportunity to be acknowledged as successful, but will mean more hours at work.
Which of your values matters most right now, freedom or creativity?
Our values help us prioritise and reach decisions about how we want to live our lives. Values exist whether you have recognised them yet or not, but taking time to identify, understand and clarify them allows you to honour them and make plans for your future within a clearer framework.
By asking yourself the right questions, you can identify your priority, so in our ‘test’ scenario, you might ask:
• What’s important about this promotion?
• Do I want to work even more hours, giving up time with family and friends?
• How important is the creative challenge this opportunity presents?
• Could the short term sacrifice be worth it for the longer term benefit of a better work/life balance?
If freedom is the value that matters most to you right now, you will not be taking the promotion. If, however, a stimulating and creative working environment is key, then accepting the promotion will be the more attractive option.
Create a Framework
How to take steps to define your values and create a framework for clarity.
Explore and identify your priorities. What’s really important for you?
Step 1 – Happiness
When you were at your happiest both in your career and personal life:
• What was happening?
• How were you being?
• Who were you with and what people were around you?
• What’s important about this time for you?
Step 2 – Achievement
Identify when you were ‘on your game’ - your proudest moment:
• Where were you?
• Who were you being and why is that important?
• What were the surrounding factors that contributed to this moment?
• Who were you sharing this moment with?
Step 3 - Fulfilment
When you last felt fulfilled (it’s important for you to again think of your career and personal life):
• Why did you feel fulfilled, what need and desire was being honoured?
• Why was this moment and experience important and fulfilling?
• What was the context for this feeling of fulfilment?
Step 4 - Identify your top values based on these experiences - happiness, achievement and fulfilment.
Work through the list below, you may combine some of the values; however, it is important for the distinction not to be lost. For example, the combination “Honesty/Integrity/Truthfulness” maintains a single distinction, whilst “Honesty/Integrity/Freedom” combines concepts and thereby loses clarity.
Step 5 - Identify your top 10 values.
This is the hard bit - you will need to dig really deep, focus on why these values are important and how you are going to prioritise them. This is crucial, as in the future you will be making decisions and possibly having to choose between situations that may satisfy different values. You will need clarity on which values are more important to you.
Work through the list, make notes and then compare them - it may help if you use different scenarios and think about how this would affect each decision. Think about the example given further up, about whether freedom or creativity would be more important in deciding on a promotion at work. If freedom is more important, maybe you could explore different options around moving up within the organisation – perhaps a role with less travel or shorter hours would be more suitable.
Spend time exploring your list and work through each value until you have them in the order you feel resonates the most with you.
Step 6 – Own your values
Once you have finalised your values and placed them in order of priority, take some time and review them - ask yourself the following questions:
• How important are these values and how do they make me feel?
• How committed to them am I?
• If I had to a make a decision that wasn’t popular but honoured my values, would I stand by that decision?
Our values serve as a compass, pointing out what it means to be true to ourselves. When we honour our values on a regular and consistent basis, life is good and fulfilling. Making decisions isn’t always easy, but having clarity on our personal values means that when we have to make a choice we can do it with confidence, knowing that even though the decision may be difficult, it will be the right decision in the long term.
© 2017 Transition In You